Adopted Russian Child Returned

[corgifan]

I'm sure all of you newsies have read read or heard about this: http://www.tampabay.com/incoming/russia-furious-after-adopted-boy-returned/1086438
On one hand I can understand the outrage of the Russian authorities, but only to a small extent. Parents that attempt an adoption out of Russia need to know that they are at serious risk of adopting a child with EXTREMELY serious psychological issues. The Russians happily tell prospective parents that the child they have their eye on is healthy and free of mental health problems, even though the child is suffering from bipolar disorder, FAS, attachment disorder, and more. None of these problems can be cured. You can only hope to keep the kids under control through use of serious psychotropic drugs... ones that make ritalin seem like Smarties candy by comparison. Yet, so many families head over to Russia with the hope of returning with (let's face it) a blonde, blue eyed, caucasian child. There are no legal checks in place. They give you any child that happens to be available... and for a hefty price. Try minimum of $20,000.
My suggestion: adopt here in the United States. Adopt a child older than an infant. Other than criminal background checks and some training that you have to pay for (CPR/first aid, swim safety) the process, while somewhat long and tedious, is pretty much free.
As far as the mother that sent her child back, I have very limited sympathy for her. Let the buyer beware.

[siamcat]

A child is not something you return, like a defective toy.
I'm sorry it makes me mad.
Even if you give birth to a child you're not guaranteed a perfect specimen. It is risky to adopt from foreign countries or disreputable agencies, but a child is a living being and should not be given up like a dress that looked pretty but didn't fit right.

[CenTexDave]

I'm sure there's more to this story than has hit the press.

[corgifan]

I don't think so.
A) Woman goes to Russia to adopt, deals with an immoral corrupt system with no legal requirement to reveal a child's true mental condition
B) Woman puts on blinders when a beautiful child is presented at the puppy farm (basically what Russian orphanages are)
C) Woman goes through the legal process to adopt(and the illegal processes too, such as paying off/bribing the orphanage director and the judge presiding over the case)
D) Woman returns to the United States with beautiful child
E) Child, who turns out to have serious psychological problems (not reported to the woman in the first place) begins acting out, sometimes violently
F) Woman has to make a choice: Deal with it like a parent or wash hands of the whole mess and dump the child back into the corrupt Russian system

[CenTexDave]

This kid is 7 years old. When did she adopt him? And I recall from another article the grandmother seemed to be the "mouthpiece" for the mother.
Now Russia won't let Americans adopt their whacko orphans? BFD.

[Msradar]

I got a friend in Austin in this same boat. She adopted two Russian children. One has turned out the great. The other child a boy....he has set the house on fire, attacked, tortured the family pets, gotten kicked out of middle school, been in jail for credit card fraud and theft, has bought pellet guns and other weapons with his parents credit cards...and of course the parents being desperate and older......protected him from the law and the school system until just recently...when he threatened to kill his mother.

Now they are trying to get rid of him. This is very real.......and this child is 12 years old. She has had these children since they were infants.

[corgifan]

Now Russia won't let Americans adopt their whacko orphans? BFD.

It is a big deal. (No need to be vulgar...) A Russian adoption normally can be consumated in less than a year (if you have have enough $$$.) Unless you know someone or have connections to baby brokers, and have the same big bucks, good luck trying to find a caucasian infant in the U.S. (Please know that I am not slamming prospective parents if they wish to adopt a child the same race as they are. The adoption needs to work for both the child and the parents.)

[corgifan]

I got a friend in Austin in this same boat. She adopted two Russian children. One has turned out the great. The other child a boy...

I have a friend in Austin myself who adopted three children, two girls and a boy, adopted at ages 5, 7, and 8. One was more gorgeous than the next. I'm talking Maria Sharipova beautiful. The parents are an older, Christian couple with a pair of biological children. Within 6 months all three of the adopted kids began showing troubling signs. Happy one minute, sullen the next. Fights developed between the two sibling sets. Their pet cat was injured by kicks. Fires were set outside. Hygene was ignored, to include feces and urine. School was a disaster.
Is it possible for this scenario to occur in a U.S. adoption? Yes, but if the prospective parents do their homework they will know if their adopted child has issues AHEAD OF TIME! Visit the TARE website to see pictures of available children. Even there you'll see levels (none, slight, moderate, severe) for physical health, mental health, and developmental state.

[christine]

STALIN'S REVENGE!!
Go ahead and delete it a fourth time. Just be sure to tell Rick why.
lol. you love pushing buttons.

[Rick]

STALIN'S REVENGE!!
Go ahead and delete it a fourth time. Just be sure to tell Rick why.

LOL Ok, I'm gonna be number four. I think we are running out of moderators. ;)

[CenTexDave]

STALIN'S REVENGE!!!
May the fleas of a thousand of Osama's finest camels invest the groin area of the next person to delete this. :)

[Rick]

LOL I'm not touching it!

[CenTexDave]

:-0:-0:-0 :)):)):)) :thumbsup:thumbsup:thumbsup

Atta boy, Rick!!

[stormy]

Dang! Who's left???? Texas Immigrant?????? Whheeeere aaaaare youuuuu??? :)

[CenTexDave]

Go ahead and delete it Stormy. I know it was you in the first place. Just trying to inject some humor into this. You know, gotta be careful about adopting those Red Russian kids - probably brainwashed by the KGB!

[Scarlett]

Oh dear God Dave...seriously...how old are you today?
I am immune to any and all curses...I know this because my ex-mother-in-law tried and failed to put numerous curses on me...all failed...and she even flew to Haiti and went for the full voodoo one...
I am soooooo debating the delete button....so rather than threaten me with something that won't work...try bribes! :thumbsup

[CenTexDave]

Voodoo doesn't work. I might try a bribe - a chocolate martini?!!:)

[christine]

wow some mother-in-law. sounds like a bad life time movie lol

[Scarlett]

Probably would have been a great movie...haha.

[Texas Immigrant]

I'm not gone, I'm just slacking. :smoke

[CenTexDave]

I surrender.

[stormy]

Go ahead and delete it Stormy. I know it was you in the first place. Just trying to inject some humor into this. You know, gotta be careful about adopting those Red Russian kids - probably brainwashed by the KGB!

Well dad gummit Dave! Ya caught me as the "deleter" (thanks Rick...:)))Trying to keep this thread on topic turned out steering it even further off topic! Although, I did get a good laugh out of it....

Here's my :offtopic

[Night Owl]

Delete it :busted :)):))

[SunDevil]

I don't think so.
A) Woman goes to Russia to adopt, deals with an immoral corrupt system with no legal requirement to reveal a child's true mental condition
B) Woman puts on blinders when a beautiful child is presented at the puppy farm (basically what Russian orphanages are)
C) Woman goes through the legal process to adopt(and the illegal processes too, such as paying off/bribing the orphanage director and the judge presiding over the case)
D) Woman returns to the United States with beautiful child
E) Child, who turns out to have serious psychological problems (not reported to the woman in the first place) begins acting out, sometimes violently
F) Woman has to make a choice: Deal with it like a parent or wash hands of the whole mess and dump the child back into the corrupt Russian system

Words fail me. I want to say something to you but the words are just not there.

I have one adopted son from Russia who happens to have brown hair and green eyes, GASP, and am headed back next week to stand before a judge to petition to adopt a second son. I'm out of room in my suitcase to bring my bribes so I can influence the judge in the illegal, corrupt court; it's filled to capacity with clothes, shoes, pajamas, Desitin, baby shampoo, and baby lotions to take to the children in the "puppy farms". Those poor babies that have no say in the matter, that have no mother to hold them when they are hurt, no father to teach them to throw a baseball, no one there to help them with a science project.

God help you, seriously.

[SunDevil]

They give you any child that happens to be available... and for a hefty price. Try minimum of $20,000.

Let the buyer beware.
Again showing your ignorance, try at least $45,000 per adoption.

[ithoughtso]

With all of the thousands of babies in the U.S. that need a home and someone to love them, I cannot understand at all why some feel the need to travel across the world to adopt. There are thousands of babies needing love, hope and a future right here in Texas.

[Texas Immigrant]

I've always heard that it was very difficult to adopt a baby in the US.

[SunDevil]

With all of the thousands of babies in the U.S. that need a home and someone to love them, I cannot understand at all why some feel the need to travel across the world to adopt. There are thousands of babies needing love, hope and a future right here in Texas.
How many of these "thousands" have you adopted and brought into your home to give a future?

Texas Immigrant, it can be difficult but the problem is there aren't laws to protect the adoptive parents and the birth mother can receive payment from them throughout her pregnancy for housing, living expenses, car, etc and then the day she delivers can change her mind and walk away and the adoptive parents are without a child and are out all of the money they just gave the woman and she doesn't have to pay a dime of it back.

[ithoughtso]

How many I have adopted was not the issue, the issue was there are many in this country to adopt without going overseas. And as far as the pregnant mother changing her mind, there are many who are already born and have no mother to speak of.

[Night Owl]

Adoption laws in this country are horrid and it drives people to other countries to adopt. Is there a difference between babies here and those from abroad?

[ithoughtso]

I always wish to take care of my local neighbors /community before searching other communities.

[SunDevil]

I always wish to take care of my local neighbors /community before searching other communities.
So again I ask, how many have you adopted from your local community??

Night Owl, you are right, an orphan is an orphan no matter if they are from Russia, China, Africa, or here.

[ithoughtso]

And I say again, that isnt the issue. Why do you want to go to africa or russia for a child when there is one in austin?

[SunDevil]

And I say again, that isnt the issue.
I thought so.


Why do you want to go to africa or russia for a child when there is one in austin?
The Presbyterian Children's Home in Austin is not set up as an orphanage for people to adopt from. The PCH is designed to provide a temporary place for children to stay while their families to get things sorted out. Their #1 goal is to keep families intact and that does not translate to an easy process for people hoping to adopt. We did not want to drag an adoption out while a family tries to get themselves straightened out and we get tossed back and forth between an adoption happening or the family getting the children back. So we chose to travel to Russia so we knew once we met the child, there wouldn't be a chance that someone would come back and take the child from us after we met them.

Once we met our first son and saw all the other children left behind in the orphanage and felt them cling to our legs when we tried to leave, we knew we had to return. We considered domestic adoption for our second adoption but were told by our local social worker that the odds are against us for a birth mother picking us since we have one child already and that they tend to pick childless families. The social worker said it would probably be a couple years until we were picked. We asked about foster to adopt program since we didn't want a newborn and were told that they find children coming out of orphanages do better attaching to their new family than children coming from the foster program since many children are bounced from foster home to foster home.

Hopefully the next adoptive family you come across won't be expected to justify their decision to travel overseas to bring home an orphan and you won't throw around flippant remarks like, "I cannot understand at all why some feel the need to travel across the world to adopt." I guess I can't understand why someone in Ding Dong, TX would be so narrowminded but to each their own.

[corgifan]

Again showing your ignorance, try at least $45,000 per adoption.

You're about to pay 45K to adopt a Russian child, and you're calling me ignorant? The other post is right on: adopt locally. You won't have to pay much more than a couple of hundred dollars for criminal background checks and other paperwork. If you go through CPS you're begging for a drawn out process. They're overburdened with cases. But if you're smart you'll go through a privatized agency. They work with CPS, have 1/3 of the case load, and only offer for adoption children who's birth parents have already lost custodial rights. And they don't charge a penny.

[ithoughtso]

My remarks are not flippant. You dont seem to want to hear anyones opinion besides your own. I stand by mine, there are tens of thousands of children in the united states that would love an opportunity to be adopted. Make all the excuses you want for not going that route. And until every orphanage in the country is emptied and every child has a loving home, there will be no need to go to china or russia for a child.

[christine]

I understand why people travel to adopt. It's so difficult here to adopt a child. It's truly sad to think of a child not going to a good home that wants one. I once wondered why and thought it was unfair to adopt outside the US but then realized why people do it. And let's face it...the US at least tries to provide for orphans. It's not so good in other countries I'm afraid.

[Night Owl]

You're about to pay 45K to adopt a Russian child, and you're calling me ignorant? The other post is right on: adopt locally. You won't have to pay much more than a couple of hundred dollars for criminal background checks and other paperwork. If you go through CPS you're begging for a drawn out process. They're overburdened with cases. But if you're smart you'll go through a privatized agency. They work with CPS, have 1/3 of the case load, and only offer for adoption children who's birth parents have already lost custodial rights. And they don't charge a penny.
:iamwithstupid: Cow Dung.

Typical illogic from the left. Does it matter where the child is from if they go to a loving home? In your mind I'm sure it does. Don't send them to a home with traditional values. Leave them where they are since it ain't no skin off your nose.

SunDevil I thank the good Lord there are families like yours that want to help these children.

[SunDevil]

SunDevil I thank the good Lord there are families like yours that want to help these children.
Thank you but we are truly the lucky ones. These boys have been a huge blessing in our lives. We leave tomorrow morning to stand before the judge to petition to adopt our second child and I haven't ruled out adopting again, but I haven't mentioned that to DH just yet. :whistle:

[corgifan]

:iamwithstupid: Cow Dung.

Typical illogic from the left. Does it matter where the child is from if they go to a loving home? In your mind I'm sure it does. Don't send them to a home with traditional values. Leave them where they are since it ain't no skin off your nose.

SunDevil I thank the good Lord there are families like yours that want to help these children.

Typical rant from the right. Where is the illogic?

[corgifan]

I understand why people travel to adopt. It's so difficult here to adopt a child. It's truly sad to think of a child not going to a good home that wants one. I once wondered why and thought it was unfair to adopt outside the US but then realized why people do it. And let's face it...the US at least tries to provide for orphans. It's not so good in other countries I'm afraid.

It's not hard at all to adopt a child here in Texas, unless you have your heart set on a caucasian infant. Then you are completely correct. However, if one is willing to take a child that is a toddler on up, possibly not white, the state of Texas bends over backwards to make it as easy as possible. (And even then, there are thousands of older white children available.)

[Texas Immigrant]

It's not hard at all to adopt a child here in Texas, unless you have your heart set on a caucasian infant. Then you are completely correct. However, if one is willing to take a child that is a toddler on up, possibly not white, the state of Texas bends over backwards to make it as easy as possible. (And even then, there are thousands of older white children available.)

That's good to know. We aren't in a financial situation where we could afford to take on another child, but we do want to adopt or at least foster after our own children get a little older.

[christine]

It's not hard at all to adopt a child here in Texas, unless you have your heart set on a caucasian infant. Then you are completely correct. However, if one is willing to take a child that is a toddler on up, possibly not white, the state of Texas bends over backwards to make it as easy as possible. (And even then, there are thousands of older white children available.)

I'm just speaking from the experiences people I know who have tried. Perhaps that was the problem. They may have been too unbending on a few things. Either way any child in need should get a good home no matter where they come from.

[Night Owl]

It's not hard at all to adopt a child here in Texas, unless you have your heart set on a caucasian infant. Then you are completely correct. However, if one is willing to take a child that is a toddler on up, possibly not white, the state of Texas bends over backwards to make it as easy as possible. (And even then, there are thousands of older white children available.)

You seem to have a lot of experience. How many children have you adopted in Texas?

[Night Owl]

Typical rant from the right. Where is the illogic?
It is illogical that you would bash someone for doing a wonderful deed. But that is what you lefties are known for. It is a sign of pure ignorance when you poke your nose where it is not needed.

It seems you are an expert in adoptions. I am sure you have adopted many of these children, both here and abroad. Good for you. If you haven't then sit in a corner and leave other people to make their own decisions. You have already proven what your decisions lead to, now haven't we.

:iamwithstupid:

[THEMEANOGRE]

I had a woman friend, an older woman, who used to provide respite care for scads of foster children. To tell the honest truth, they kept her alive. She got to a certain age and health status where she could no longer provide care for those children. Once she did, her health declined rapidly and she was gone in little over a year.

[ithoughtso]

No body is bashing anyone for doing a good deed. I just think a good deed can be done in our own country. There is certainly a need. Saving children is indeed a noble undertaking, but I have to look at those children right in front of me before going half way across the world.

[FieryPrincess]

Once my kids are gone, I hope to be able to do some fostering. I work well with kids and I have the gift of loving the unloveable.