rubytuesday
September 6th, 2009, 6:14 PM
The latest entry from my blog:
With the Winter Olympics approaching, I thought I would list some of the contests of my marriage. I have a feeling that others must go through this as well, and for my more delicate readers, please continue without fear of any discussion of marital relations. :) Please feel free to add your own events.
The Games of the Marriage Olympiad:
1. The "Where's My Belt/Wallet/Keys/Sunglasses" Scavenger Hunt: This game is usually played in the morning or right before we are supposed to leave the house. During this event, my husband will ransack the house looking for one of the previously listed items and I am expected to drop whatever I am doing to assist, even though I have no bloody idea where the item in question is.
2. The "Can You Tell What Color My Panties Are" Test: To be fair to Mr. Where's My Belt, I have to say that he is sometimes the unwilling participant in this game. It's pretty much what it sounds like: if he can tell what color my underwear is through my pants, it's time to change.
3. The Trash Can Standoff: We play this game a lot. Each person, trying to avoid being the one who has to take out the trash, pushes on the top of the heap to compact the garbage and fit just one more thing inside. This game can go on for days, but the laws of physics will always declare a loser sooner or later.
4. The Eternal Wrestling Match-Toilet Paper Under or Over: I, like all good people, accept the fact that the toilet paper should hang over the roll. My husband, however, is one of the under people. It's like I'm an Eloi and he's a Morlock. We cannot agree on this one, so whoever empties one roll gets to install the next one and hang it whichever way one wishes. And then, when he does it wrong, I pull the roll off and turn it around.
5. The "Who's on the Left" Bed Struggle: I think all rational people will be on my side on this one. When we were first married, and I don't know why or how this happened, Hubby ended up on the left side of the bed and I on the right. We are both perfectly happy with this arrangement, but Hubs wants to continue this when we are on the road, and that is completely unacceptable. Yes, for home games, I take the right, but when we are visiting somewhere, I get the side that is closest to the bathroom. He thinks we should keep our assigned sides regardless of where we are. I maintain that since I am more likely to get up at night, I should be closest to the bathroom in unfamiliar territory.
What are the games of your Marriage Olympiad?
With the Winter Olympics approaching, I thought I would list some of the contests of my marriage. I have a feeling that others must go through this as well, and for my more delicate readers, please continue without fear of any discussion of marital relations. :) Please feel free to add your own events.
The Games of the Marriage Olympiad:
1. The "Where's My Belt/Wallet/Keys/Sunglasses" Scavenger Hunt: This game is usually played in the morning or right before we are supposed to leave the house. During this event, my husband will ransack the house looking for one of the previously listed items and I am expected to drop whatever I am doing to assist, even though I have no bloody idea where the item in question is.
2. The "Can You Tell What Color My Panties Are" Test: To be fair to Mr. Where's My Belt, I have to say that he is sometimes the unwilling participant in this game. It's pretty much what it sounds like: if he can tell what color my underwear is through my pants, it's time to change.
3. The Trash Can Standoff: We play this game a lot. Each person, trying to avoid being the one who has to take out the trash, pushes on the top of the heap to compact the garbage and fit just one more thing inside. This game can go on for days, but the laws of physics will always declare a loser sooner or later.
4. The Eternal Wrestling Match-Toilet Paper Under or Over: I, like all good people, accept the fact that the toilet paper should hang over the roll. My husband, however, is one of the under people. It's like I'm an Eloi and he's a Morlock. We cannot agree on this one, so whoever empties one roll gets to install the next one and hang it whichever way one wishes. And then, when he does it wrong, I pull the roll off and turn it around.
5. The "Who's on the Left" Bed Struggle: I think all rational people will be on my side on this one. When we were first married, and I don't know why or how this happened, Hubby ended up on the left side of the bed and I on the right. We are both perfectly happy with this arrangement, but Hubs wants to continue this when we are on the road, and that is completely unacceptable. Yes, for home games, I take the right, but when we are visiting somewhere, I get the side that is closest to the bathroom. He thinks we should keep our assigned sides regardless of where we are. I maintain that since I am more likely to get up at night, I should be closest to the bathroom in unfamiliar territory.
What are the games of your Marriage Olympiad?