Help! My 3 year-old keeps hitting

[pushup]

My 3 year-old son keeps hitting kids in his class. Some of these are unprovoked. Its been going on for a few months now. We've talked to him about it ad nauseum, tried bringing him in later, taking his toys away, monitoring his diet and sleeping patterns, timeouts, etc. And it always happens in the morning. His teachers and my research say its just a phase and he'll grow out of it in a few months. In the mean time, what do we do? He's hurting kids and leaving marks. We don't know what else to do.

[mac]

leaving marks?........are you sure he's not biting also?......mac


My 3 year-old son keeps hitting kids in his class. Some of these are unprovoked. Its been going on for a few months now. We've talked to him about it ad nauseum, tried bringing him in later, taking his toys away, monitoring his diet and sleeping patterns, timeouts, etc. And it always happens in the morning. His teachers and my research say its just a phase and he'll grow out of it in a few months. In the mean time, what do we do? He's hurting kids and leaving marks. We don't know what else to do.

[pushup]

He's only done it once recently. Before that, it's been since he was 2.

[Night Owl]

The not PC way to fix the problem. He hits then knock him on his butt, every time.
Biting. He bites, bite him back.
Again not the PC way to do it, but it works.

[Texas Immigrant]

When my kids were that age and hit or bit after we did the "no" thing and time out. We hit and bit them back. I don't think they understand that it hurts until it is done to them. It didn't take very long and they stopped.

[xzochye]

The not PC way to fix the problem. He hits then knock him on his butt, every time.
Biting. He bites, bite him back.
Again not the PC way to do it, but it works.

I agree with this if you are present when it happens. If a 3 year old does it at the daycare and then mommy or daddy hit him or bite him 5 hours later the little one has no clue why this just happened to him.

[mac]

wow.....you guys are hard! i have to admit that i've swatted my kids a time or two but to.....bite? i can't believe i'd ever do that or that it would even ever cross my mind....and i was raised with a belt!.....

[Texas Immigrant]

I would bite just hard enough to make it hurt. No permanent damage, just enough to make a point.

[siamcat]

Have you tried positive reenforcement?

It's basically giving something for each day your child does not hit. It could be a colorful marble in a jar, a quarter, a big smiley sticker on a calendar page, or whatever you choose. After your kid earns a pre-determined amount they get a prize ( again one of your choosing and one that your child likes) and it doesn't have to be a big thing at that age.
Be firm and don't give partial awards. That coupled with explaining over and over again how hitting is wrong when they do it might work. With my kids I found that rewarding good behavior with withholding the reward along with an explanation worked.
On top of that you have to stay absolutely calm even when they throw a fit (which is the hardest part).
Good luck.

[Ludwig]

Show the child expected behaviors. Spanking is counter-productive in aggressive children, and it reinforces that it’s okay to hit. Make sure that the child is not getting conflicting messages elsewhere: older siblings or peers as well as aggressive TV programs, videos, video games, and toys.

See if you can determine what situation sets the child up to be aggressive; tired, bored, hungry, or trying to get your attention.

It's not your fault that your child is acting aggressively. Many children go through an aggressive stage and will get through it with good parenting. By repeated exposure to a non-aggressive home and gentle children, your child will eventually learn that kindness, not aggression, is the way to act.

[mac]

don't get me wrong.....i'm not sayin' its wrong or even judging it. i'm just sayin' that i never ever did that.......don't think it even crossed my mind......mac

[Scarlett]

I remember the one and only time my son bit me. I didn't even think, I simply reacted. It happened so fast. I was standing by my mother and suddenly he bit my wrist. I jumped in pain, reached down and bit his. He looked at me and yelled, "THAT HURT!" I said, "I KNOW!"

We stared at each other and he never bit anyone, ever again.

It's similar to how he learned what "hot" meant.

My father was eating a hamburger. My dad puts hot sauce on darn near everything. I mean, really HOT hot sauce. Alec wanted a bite. He was around 2. My dad said, "No, it's hot." Alec kept begging. Dad finally said, "Fine, but THIS. IS. HOT."
Alec took a bite.

Fast forward to the next morning. Dad was drinking coffee.
"Grandpa, I want some!"
"Sure, but it's hot."

"NOOOOOO!!!!!! No hot."

Never asked for hot stuff again.
Never bit again.

Lessons learned.

[pushup]

Thanks for the advice. He's not hitting us (we nipped that long ago) but at his daycare. We are spanking at home and doing a positive reinforcement with a sticker chart. I did tell his daycare to call me if he does it (since I'm off of work). Yesterday when they called me, I went down there and took him to a spare room, and "took care of business." I think that had more of an affect. He was fine the rest of the day. Luckily, today he spit instead of hit. Hopefully, this is not the start of a new trend.

[FieryPrincess]

Different kids learn different ways. Some kids need to experience what it is that they are doing to others to realize that it hurts. Some children can just be told. :/