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Thread: Aging Parents

  1. #11
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    No, it's my fault, I split the topic when beaver asked the Alzheimers question.

  2. #12
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    No problem.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoAnn Purser View Post
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    Anyone have a website for families dealing with aging parents that is credible?

    Maybe a great book?

    Need guidance on how to cope.
    I recently met with an attorney who specilizes in elder law. He has a book in his office that he recommends. It's called "How to Care for Aging Parents" by Virginia Morris. It's a good $20 resource that answers many questions. If you have any other questions about the attorney or my meeting with him, I'll be glad to help.

  4. #14
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    Well, found a book that is helpful.

    "The 36 Hour Day"....a family guide to caring for persons with alzheimer disease, relating dementing illnesses, and memory loss in later life.

    I find I cope better with a plan. I want lots of information and want to know ultimately where I am going to end up. This helps me to deal better with my aging family members symptoms. I find I am more patient with knowledge.

    Hope this helps.

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  6. #15
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    Anyone have any input/info re paying for nursing home care? My mother is in a nursing home with advanced dementia and my 71-yr old step-father had to give up his retirement and start teaching again to pay the nursing home and her meds not covered d/t the donut hole. He winds up paying more than he makes at teaching and gets by on his social security and teacher retirement. I guess he could do a reverse mortgage on their house, but after working 30 years to pay for the house, he doesn't want to give it up to the bank.

    Any suggestions?

  7. #16
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    Medicare covers bona fide medical problems. Elder care is taken care through Medicaid but only after all the patient's resources have been used up. The only way your step-father can get out of this predicament is to divorce his wife and even then 50% of their assets would be taken.

    That is why I tell all young folks to get long-term medical insurance.

  8. #17
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    Check into a trust fund. My mother has set one up for my eventual needs. She uses We Care in Temple for tax and financial consultation stuff.
    The secret to longevity is to eat a live frog first thing each day. Then nothing worse will happen to either of you all day.
    M.Twain

  9. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spartan View Post
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    Medicare covers bona fide medical problems. Elder care is taken care through Medicaid but only after all the patient's resources have been used up. The only way your step-father can get out of this predicament is to divorce his wife and even then 50% of their assets would be taken.

    That is why I tell all young folks to get long-term medical insurance.
    He has been "spent down" for a couple of years now and has been consulting an eldercare lawyer during that time. Medicaid rejected the application due to their mistaken belief that he still owns his parents house. He sold his share of it to his brother years ago. Proof was provided and he was still rejected by Medicaid. The nursing home said keep trying, but there seems to be a lot of foot dragging going on and lawyers collecting fees going on.

  10. #19
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    To BBH:
    Thank you so very much for you honest, down to earth post. Your situation sounds exactly what I am going through right now with my mom. I have a sister that comes in from out of state to help out for 30 days but then she must leave to go home to take care of her family. I work, but take care of mom in the evenings. Mom's doctor told us about Helping Angels which is a program that will send someone by the house a few hours each day to check on her until I can get off work. The agency is sending helpers to the house next week for us to interview. She is not to happy with the decision, but she wants to stay in her home. When the times comes, we'll also have to pay out of pocket for mom's care in a facility. If you don't mind, I'd like to know the name of the Elder Law attorney you contacted that helped with planning out her care. I wish you best with your mom.

  11. #20
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    There are many agencies vying for the opportunity to care for your mom in her home. They will be paid through Medicare and Medicare will go after your Mom's assets just as they would if she were in a care facility. These agencies' services are NOT cheap. When they come to interview (a.k.a. evaluate available assets) be sure that you ask all the right questions and have a legal rep. review all paperwork before you or you Mom signs them.

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