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Thread: Kitywampus is a juxtaposition?

  1. #11
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    I'd never heard the word "akimbo" in my life until my daughter was watching some stupid cartoon with a character named "Arms Akimbo"..

    Weird how we learn stuff sometimes.
    If you do not read the news you are uninformed. If you do you are misinformed. Mark Twain


  2. #12
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    If you think the scientific definitions of memory losses at the top of this thread apply to you, do what I did. I took the old Dementia Test to make sure I am still running on all cylinders. I am happy to report that I passed it, but here is the test for you:

    1. What do you put in a toaster?







    Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.

    2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?







    Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as Children's World. If you said "water" then proceed to question 3.

    3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?









    Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions?????

    If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.

    4. It's in the last century, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at one time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?

    Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors.








    If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors", then proceed to the next question.

    5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from Austin to Houston. In Bastrop, 17 people get on the bus. In Smithville, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In La Grange, two people get off and four get on. In Ellinger, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Columbus, three people get off and five people get on In Sealy, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive in Houston. What was the name of the bus driver?









    Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

    "A boy cannot become a girl and a man cannot become a woman, not even if he shuts his eyes and wishes really hard."



  3. LOL siamcat, Night Owl, CenTexDave LOL'd at this post
  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by mac View Post
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    it's bad, siam, but maybe not as bad as you think it is. i lost my mother some 5 years ago after her going through dementia....it's slow and unstoppable.....BUT on the other hand, I experienced some of my greatest challenges and victories during her "sickness"......mac
    I know how bad it is. Learned it at age 12 when my great-grandmother accused my younger brother of stealing her golden faucets and she had to put the cheap ones back on. I was good at finding things, so it was my job to search for her hiding spots for money. The oven was her favorite one. Still when she passed we found over $1000 DM in various places.

    My Grandma used to think that she had Hair Appointments in the middle of the night or that the bakery should be open at 2 in the morning. Luckily we lived in a small town and people called my mom to get her. She even sneaked out of the nursing home we ended up putting her in because she could not be on her own. I'm not doing that to my kids. Put me in a home and visit once in a blue moon. I might call you by a different name, which I got used to too. I will not put that burden on my kids.

  5. #14
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    My angel and I are caring for her spinster aunt who has senile dementia. Taking care of her is a burden which we lovingly take on because she paid it forward all her life before her mind began to fail. Her sister, my mother-in-law, was with us with the same problem until five years ago... she did not have so strong a constitution, surviving with us for only eight years. My angel and I only fear that her aunt will be at our funerals and then have no one to care for her.
    "A boy cannot become a girl and a man cannot become a woman, not even if he shuts his eyes and wishes really hard."



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  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ludwig View Post
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    My angel and I are caring for her spinster aunt who has senile dementia. Taking care of her is a burden which we lovingly take on because she paid it forward all her life before her mind began to fail. Her sister, my mother-in-law, was with us with the same problem until five years ago... she did not have so strong a constitution, surviving with us for only eight years. My angel and I only fear that her aunt will be at our funerals and then have no one to care for her.

    You are a good man Lud, with a true heart....
    If you do not read the news you are uninformed. If you do you are misinformed. Mark Twain


  8. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by sojourner truth View Post
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    You are a good man Lud, with a true heart....
    Not really. I am far from good... but once in a while I do a good thing I guess.
    "A boy cannot become a girl and a man cannot become a woman, not even if he shuts his eyes and wishes really hard."



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