Autism epidemic

[cityboy]

I was waiting this evening for a take-out Chinese order, and saw a mom with her probably 3-year-old boy, exemplifying the problem. They were sitting at a table, and the boy was up and down, up and down, up and down, in and out of his chair, wanting something the mom had taken away from him. "If you sit down," she said, "if you sit down. If you sit down. If you sit down. If you sit down ... " Did he ever sit down? Of course not. Did he eventually get what he wanted? Of course, he did ...

[liessemsed]

I totally agree that bad parenting is certainly out there. And it's even harder to be a "good parent" when you have so many sucky parents out there! I was dubbed a "bad parent" at the mall about a year ago. My daughter (who was just barely 4 years old at the time) and son were playing in the play area at the Temple Mall. They had their 5-minute, 2- minute, and 1-minute warning to when it was time to leave. When it was time to go, my daughter FREAKED. Epic tantrum. A parent in the play area witnessed it and came over to me and said, "Why don't you just let her stay for a few more minutes so she'll calm down?" I tried to politely tell her, no thank you, she's had her countdowns, and I'm sticking to my guns. This parent walked away saying, "Pick your battles, hon." As I dragged my screaming daughter through the mall, a clerk came out of a store and said, "I've heard her screaming for the last 10 minutes. Let me give her a sticker to calm her down." I said (again, as politely as I could) no thank you, she does not deserve a reward for her behavior. The clerk replied, but she's just a baby. I said, no, she's 4 years old, and she still doesn't deserve to be rewarded for this meltdown. As I was walking away, the clerk mumbled loudly enough for me to hear, someone should call CPS on you for being a terrible parent.

Thankfully I knew I was doing what was right. I consider myself a good parent, because when I say something, I follow through with it. My children are usually well-behaved and respectful in public. It's easy to be a crappy parent. It's easy to give in to your kids when they're acting like little demons. It's far more difficult to be a good parent and stick to your guns. But I wasn't put on this earth to let my children walk all over me - it's my job to raise them to be respectful and useful members of society, and that job is demanding and quite honestly, it sucks sometimes. What sucks even more is that bad parenting is more the norm.

But what's worse is that parents of children with autism are blamed for their child's condition. It's not that these parents did anything wrong while in utero. The probably didn't do anything before conceiving the child either. Their child was born totally normal, and once their child was a toddler, something changed. Their normally chatty child stops talking altogether. The child who used to love to play with blocks and cars would rather flick his fingers in front of his face instead of play with his new toys. He no longer smiles when he sees Mom or Dad walk into the room. I haven't had this happen to me personally, but I've seen it happen to my friend's child. It's maddening. And it's even more maddening when people blame the parents for their regression.

Something needs to be done - both with the autism epidemic and the bad parenting epidemic. But one I think is easier to fix. Not sure which one yet.

[FieryPrincess]

There is a school of thought our there that suggests that ADHD is just on the other end of the Autism spectrum. I don't know what I think about that.

I fought medicating my son for years. I am VERY good at consistent consequences, creative discipline, and setting limits. I tried diet modification, exercise, and "planned ignoring" of some minor behaviors. While these helped a little bit, none of it was enough for him to function at school. By function, I mean to LEARN. He was falling behind. I poured a LOT of individual tutoring into him - by myself and a Sylvan-like company. We tried every trick I ever learned during my stint in an adaptive behavior ED unit in my early days of teaching. One of the reasons I avoided medicating my guy in the first place was because of all the kids I used to see in that unit who were overmedicated and just ruined by the meds.

We finally agreed to medicate him this fall. It has really helped his focus. A lot of behaviors disappear when he is on his meds like the constant stream of noise that he makes and his inability to look someone in the eye and focus long enough to hear them talk.

We won't medicate him much during the summer because the meds have plateaued his weight (but he hasn't lost weight which is a good thing). Much of what he does doesn't bother us too much, but as a teacher I can tell you that he would knock a classroom completely off track.

[Ludwig]

Take him off all sugars, particularly all food/drink that contains high fructose corn syrup, and you will be surprised by the change this will bring... that is not to say that this will be a cure-all... though for some it has been... but you might be able to reduce the need for meds. You must be ever vigilant... they know how to get that sugar.

[FieryPrincess]

O yeah - HFCS is considered evil in our home. It helped, but not enough for school.

We are working on eliminating the rest of the sugars too, but we're as addicted as everyone. It's a process...

[liessemsed]

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There is a school of thought our there that suggests that ADHD is just on the other end of the Autism spectrum. I don't know what I think about that.

I fought medicating my son for years. I am VERY good at consistent consequences, creative discipline, and setting limits. I tried diet modification, exercise, and "planned ignoring" of some minor behaviors. While these helped a little bit, none of it was enough for him to function at school. By function, I mean to LEARN. He was falling behind. I poured a LOT of individual tutoring into him - by myself and a Sylvan-like company. We tried every trick I ever learned during my stint in an adaptive behavior ED unit in my early days of teaching. One of the reasons I avoided medicating my guy in the first place was because of all the kids I used to see in that unit who were overmedicated and just ruined by the meds.

We finally agreed to medicate him this fall. It has really helped his focus. A lot of behaviors disappear when he is on his meds like the constant stream of noise that he makes and his inability to look someone in the eye and focus long enough to hear them talk.

We won't medicate him much during the summer because the meds have plateaued his weight (but he hasn't lost weight which is a good thing). Much of what he does doesn't bother us too much, but as a teacher I can tell you that he would knock a classroom completely off track.

As a H.S. student I brought an article from Time magazine to my mother, and it was about ADD/ADHD. I took the article to her, laid it on the counter and said, "Mom, this is me." All the way through my school career my teachers ALWAYS said, "She's not stupid, she has potential, but she needs to buckle down and concentrate."

Somehow (and I'm still not sure how) I managed to get into college, and went for education. I figured this was a safe bet because despite getting lousy grades in school I still liked it. A Lit professor pulled me aside once and said, "Have you ever been tested for ADHD?" He noticed that I did the work, knew what I was talking about, but could never finish the tests or do them well. I got tested that summer, and tried out meds.

My cumulative GPA thus far in my college career was 2.2. I was in jeopardy of not graduating (as I needed a 2.5). After being on meds for the last 2 years of my college career, my GPA went from an average of 2.2 in my frosh-junior year to an average of 3.7 in my final two years of college (I took 5 years because I had a double major and double minor). My meds made it able for me to focus on my studying and my work, and enabled me to successfully graduate college. I'm now getting my Masters'. Having ADD/ADHD isn't a "death sentence" which I'm so thankful that someone recognized it. Taking meds isn't always a bad thing. Had I not decided to try out meds, I probably wouldn't have graduated from college, and goodness knows what I'd be doing now.

It makes sense that ADD would be considered to be on the autism spectrum. A lady I used to work with when I worked at the autism clinic said, "Everyone has autistic tendencies, some just more noticeably than others." I have my topics that get me excited and am excited when I can share them with others (much like kids on the spectrum). I have my own little rituals that are comforting.

[RockinRita]

I find it hard to believe that 1 in 118 children are autistic. I wonder how many are actually autistic. How many of them just have lazy parents that would rather not teach proper behavior or take time to parent ? How many of these kids are labeled Title 1 in schools so the schools get extra money for them? How many of them are on medications for their conditions and how much do the drug companies benefit from this? What is really going on?

[lan_carter]

My 7 year old has also been diagnosed with PDD-NOS and I knew at 18 months she was not a typical child and it wasn't due to lack of parenting skills. She didn't want to be held or seek affection, but she preferred to be alone. She is rigid in her routines, has sensory issues, and displays social anxiety.

I do discipline my children, research intervention strategies, and ensure she receives therapies for occupational, speech, and applied behavior analysis. I am an active parent and take parenting seriously. It is easy to point fingers when you haven't walked in "my" shoes.

[RockinRita]

No one is pointing any fingers, and no one is denying that some children do have problems....I merely asked legitimate questions.

[FieryPrincess]

RR: How many would guess are really autistic? 1 in 500? 1 in 1000?