Misbehaving 4 year-old

[pushup]

My 4-year old has been hitting other kids all year at his school. He is now starting to kick at certain adults, running out of the classroom, and telling adults at school no. He does have speech issues which were diagnosed a year ago and is receiving services. My wife and I have tried everything from spanking, talking it out, reenacting good and bad behavior, reward systems, taking his toys and television/movies away, sticker charts. However, he doesn't exhibit these behaviors at home or when we are out and about. We've had him looked at by a pediatrician and a psychologist to see if there are signs of ADD/ADHD, ODD, or an emotional disturbance. Neither of them see anything wrong except for a typical 4 year old with speech issue. Please help.

[xzochye]

My 4-year old has been hitting other kids all year at his school. He is now starting to kick at certain adults, running out of the classroom, and telling adults at school no. He does have speech issues which were diagnosed a year ago and is receiving services. My wife and I have tried everything from spanking, talking it out, reenacting good and bad behavior, reward systems, taking his toys and television/movies away, sticker charts. However, he doesn't exhibit these behaviors at home or when we are out and about. We've had him looked at by a pediatrician and a psychologist to see if there are signs of ADD/ADHD, ODD, or an emotional disturbance. Neither of them see anything wrong except for a typical 4 year old with speech issue. Please help.

Try teaching him some relaxation methods and ways to work out aggravation or anger. A lot of times a child with speech issues will become very frustrated when he can't communicate effectively. Parents are generally better at understanding their child's speech than others.

Speech to the teacher to see if she has seen a pattern in these outbreaks and that may help you to isolate the triggers.

Also, talk to the teachers. Ask them for advice and tell them what you have/are trying and vice versa to have some consistency. It also just helps the teacher to know that you care and you really are trying to correct the behaviors. As sad as it sounds there are parents that don't try to correct behaviors or reenforce consequences at home and that in turn usually causes the child to act out more. (I know this isn't you.)

[pushup]

Try teaching him some relaxation methods and ways to work out aggravation or anger. A lot of times a child with speech issues will become very frustrated when he can't communicate effectively. Parents are generally better at understanding their child's speech than others.

Speech to the teacher to see if she has seen a pattern in these outbreaks and that may help you to isolate the triggers.


Also, talk to the teachers. Ask them for advice and tell them what you have/are trying and vice versa to have some consistency. It also just helps the teacher to know that you care and you really are trying to correct the behaviors. As sad as it sounds there are parents that don't try to correct behaviors or reenforce consequences at home and that in turn usually causes the child to act out more. (I know this isn't you.)

I do teach at the same school so I speak with the teacher daily via face to face or email about his behavior, good or bad. She can't find any triggers and we don't see any at home.

We can remind him about the breathing techniques. We've introduced it but he doesn't always remember to do it. His teacher has tried it and he'll do it on occasion but sometimes he'll tell her no. We can practice more at home to it seems more natural to him. Thanks for the advice.

[siamcat]

My 4-year old has been hitting other kids all year at his school. He is now starting to kick at certain adults, running out of the classroom, and telling adults at school no. He does have speech issues which were diagnosed a year ago and is receiving services. My wife and I have tried everything from spanking, talking it out, reenacting good and bad behavior, reward systems, taking his toys and television/movies away, sticker charts. However, he doesn't exhibit these behaviors at home or when we are out and about. We've had him looked at by a pediatrician and a psychologist to see if there are signs of ADD/ADHD, ODD, or an emotional disturbance. Neither of them see anything wrong except for a typical 4 year old with speech issue. Please help.

It seems that he becomes overstimulated/or frustrated and needs quiet time. He doesn't exhibit the behaviour at home because I imagine he can withdraw into a corner and be by himself whenever he needs to throughout the day. It seems to me it's his way of telling people "leave me alone."
I don't know how that quiet time could be incorporated for him at school. Maybe the teacher could have him have breaks from group activities in an area away from everybody when he becomes agitated. For some kids being around others all day and not having time to just be is difficult espescially at age four.

[xzochye]

Maybe a calm down jar would help him? You guys could make it together at home and discuss it and then his teacher can find a special little nook in the class room to keep it for him to use when he starts to feel worked up. It can be someplace as simple as under a table.


http://pinterest.com/search/?q=calming%20jar

[Night Owl]

At four maybe he isn't ready for a group structured environment.

[pushup]

Update: Not long after I started this thread, my son seemed to turn a corner, in a positive way. Since then, he's had 1 or 2 "bumps in the road," but he's doing much better. The only thing we changed was that we took away all of his movies and bought him all Veggie Tales movies. Now he's telling us things that he has learned from the movies.

[IronErnin]

A stress ball could work for him. And at age 4, it could be small enough to keep in his pocket.

[Shotgun Jeremy]

That calm down jar is awesome! I'm gonna make one for my son.

[CenTexDave]

So is a belt. :)

[sojourner truth]

I'd say use a good book...squarely on his butt. Worked on me, and for me.

[Night Owl]

Have you tried having him stand in a corner and staring at the wall. Start out at about a minute and work your way up in time. That was the only thing that worked with my youngest.