Mother's day for birth mothers only?

[RalphCossey]

My wife and I have a special relationship with 3 young children whose mother is struggling to provide for them. The Fathers are unavailable or unknown in one case.

With mother's day approaching, the 11 year old asked me this question. My wife and I had two different opinions on the answer. What's yours?


Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you in the land which the Lord your God gives you. (Deuteronomy 5:6 Amp.)

Question from child: Does this mean step mothers and foster mothers? Can I give them a mother's day gift instead of my mother?
My interpretation was that it referred to your bio mother and father for this promise to be fulfilled. And that honoring a step mom or foster mom in lieu of your own mother is in violation of this commandment.

My wife feels that if there is no willingness on the part of the doer, then the Lord does not accept the act. So sending a card or gift to your bio mother, when you do not feel honorable towards her, is dishonoring her. You may best honor her by accepting that she is your mother, and not be hypocritical about how you feel about her.

Anyone have any thought on this?

[VooDooBaby]

As a daughter with an amazing mother and a wonderful step-mother, I acknowledge both.

As a step-mother who strives to be like her own respected step-mother, I do feel a bit hurt when I'm not acknowledged on mother's day.

I do not acknowledge my biological father (who is married to my wonderful step-mother) on father's day because honestly, my biological father always knew where I was, but never made an effort to be in my life, nor did he have a hand in raising me.

Why should someone get to be rewarded and thanked for doing nothing? If the mother of these children is struggling but trying to do her best and make ends meet, then I think the children should be encouraged to maybe acknowledge her, along with the care-givers. However, if the mother is struggling because of her own actions, I say to hell with her.

[FieryPrincess]

We downgraded my husband's status from "father" to "sperm donor" when we were in town for Christmas but he was too busy to see us because he "had family in town".

I submit that mother and father is as much verb as noun and that if the biological parents do not parent, then they are only sperm donors or incubators and neither mother nor father.

[Night Owl]

We downgraded my husband's status from "father" to "sperm donor" when we were in town for Christmas but he was too busy to see us because he "had family in town".

I submit that mother and father is as much verb as noun and that if the biological parents do not parent, then they are only sperm donors or incubators and neither mother nor father.

I have had the same experience with my "mother." She was just an incubator as far as I am concerned.

[RalphCossey]

So I gather that you all feel that foster parents, aunts, grandmothers, sisters, and even single parent dads should be honored on Mother's day as a way to show appreciation?

While "incubators" -as it is put- should be ignored?

[Scarlett]

WHOMEVER one feels "mothered" them should be honored. For some people, that is their birth mother...but not for all. If I had been raised by a single father, I would honor him on Father's Day, not Mother's Day.

[Night Owl]

So I gather that you all feel that foster parents, aunts, grandmothers, sisters, and even single parent dads should be honored on Mother's day as a way to show appreciation?

While "incubators" -as it is put- should be ignored?

Does a woman earn the title of "MOTHER" just because she spread her legs and spit out a child? I think not. There is much more to being a mother than having a child and then forgetting about "that" child because the marriage didn't work out. Or even worse having the child just to "get even" with the husband. So yes "incubators" should be ignored.

[Rick]

I don't think how we honor someone is measured by what we do on one day of the year, rather how we honor them on all days of the year.

[Proud Texan]

I honor my step mother who I call mother. Not the ***** that gave birth to me. I hope I never see that ***** again.

[stormy]

I know this is about mothers, but same principle applies. When I married (to my now ex-husband), both my dad AND my step-dad walked me down the aisle; my dad on my left arm, and my step-dad on my right. That was my way of showing both of them how much they meant to me. On Father's Day, I do things for both.

[Rick]

Good deal, and great that they both put you first.

[codeesdad]

Families are under attack from every angle, internally, externally, socially, politically. Same sex marraige, divorce for any reason, Free Love,Welfare Babies, crack babies you name it. Its amazing that kids know who there parents are, it take more than being able to reproduce off spring to be considered a PARENT, mother or father. Not Gods plan. I think that an authority figure in the motherly or fatherly role is what it is about and learning how to do the right things in life to get along. If they were orphans who whould mother them, God also commands us to care for orphans and widows. Just saying

[stormy]

Yeah, unfortunately you can be the biggest piece of s**t mother, on parole, surrounded by a houseful of other felons with no job, continuing to get arrested and and still have way more rights than let's say a biological father and step-mother who raise a child in a safe, happy, educated, responsible, environment. Sorry...Carry on.. :explode

[SunDevil]

I think that verse is referring to the mother and father that raised you as the Bible also addresses orphans. We have no bio children but an adopted son and I am very much his mother even though he was not born from my womb. It wouldn't make sense for my son to send his birth mother a card on Mother's day and not me; I'm "mama" not her.

[christine]

I don't think it matters who is your birth mother & father.
Who ever raised you, is your mother & father. You should still show your birth parents some respect but the ones who put in the work deserve the honor.

[siamcat]

Why not honor both?
I don't know how old the children are but they might be confused about what to do. They may love mom and want to give her something while at the same time wanting to give something to your wife.

[christine]

you can honor both there is nothing that says you can't.
however I think that if the birth parents aren't doing anything to raise the kid then they don't deserve the honor. but thankfully I don't think thats the case here.

[Charles Grubb]

When any of our children desired to do something nice for someone (of whom we, their parents approved), we'd encourage it.